Vagina ornament. Maude, a handmade gift for your favourite nurse, obgyn, midwife, best friend, partner, lover {made to order}

Vagina ornament. Maude, a handmade gift for your favourite nurse, obgyn, midwife, best friend, partner, lover {made to order}


Vaginament®. Like an ornament, just way better. This is Maude, scroll down for her story <3

2.5” x 3.25” (64mm x 82mm) (Size 2 in the last photo)↠ inner + outer labia / 9mm bell / embroidery: one snowflake, bottom episiotomy straight stitch. Colorway: melon, aqua blue, white, lime {made to order and ships within a week}

✂︎ Labia have been gently folded and sewn with a running stitch for an eye-popping multi-dimensional look and feel. A 9mm bell is nestled within the folds, and lends the perfect amount of quirk! Each is lightly stuffed, finished with a precise, old-school blanket stitch, and sent on their merry way.

All of my oddities are designed, cut, hand-sewn and infused with adoration by yours truly in Burlington, Ontario. I only use soft wool-blend felt (made in North America) that I order from vendors right here on Etsy. They’re a hoot to make and I'm in love with them all!

✶✶This is the Maude's story. Humour me and my need to humanize my hand-sewn ornaments, we spend lots of time together ha!

A couple of years after their daughters started families in hometown Montreal, Maude upped sticks and fled south with husband Roger. One too many frantic calls ("Mom! Can you grab the kids from school, I'm running late!"), and fifteen too many Saturday nights spent babysitting sent her into a tailspin.

Twice a year she flies the girls, their husbands, and seven somewhat angelic grandchildren down to Florida for a couple of weeks. Maude and Roger treat them to a rental a few miles away, and conveniently, it's too far to walk. It's got a pool, but she no longer plays lifeguard. She makes show of using her SPF60 when they're in town, but the minute they get in that airport shuttle...from behind the throw pillows that stashed Hawaiian Tropic oil rises like the Phoenix. Ex-showgirls from Montreal never do lose their need for sheen. Roger coats her liberally before she hits the lounger and he heads out for his afternoon shift at the Palm's Alms.

He and Maude bought and reno'ed the old beaten-down beach bar years ago, it too is a well-oiled machine. No one dares mess with Roger, he was made, back in the day. To alleviate their grandparent-guilt at going Snowbird, the Grandkids have their college tuitions already in Trust. All care of Gran and Grandad pouring the frostiest $3 pints and the best frozen daiquiris south of the 44th. Maude's always been a stickler for good teeth and Hollywood smiles, so any future orthodontic work is covered, too ✶✶

✈︎ I ship to the address associated with your Etsy account. See shop announcement for current estimated transit times.

"Every time a clitoris rings, a vaginament gets her wings!"

Vaginament® is a registered trademark and is vehemently protected, and my vagina ornament design is protected under copyright laws. You do not take vagina that is not yours. You do not take vagina design that is not yours. End of :)

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